Wednesday 16th January 2019,

Spurs’ Boris Diaw Has Cappuccino Machine Plugged into Locker, Because of Course He Does

Boris Diaw

Boris Diaw wins life.

Following the San Antonio Spurs’ 123-98 shellacking of the Utah Jazz on Wednesday night—which was their ninth victory by at least 25 points, the most in NBA history through 37 games, according to Basketball-Reference—Jeff McDonald of the San Antonio Express-News relayed some wildly awesome, yet somehow totally predictable information:

Here’s the expanded version of McDonald’s all-time scoop:

Last week Spurs fans got all, um, a-Twitter over the reveal of Boris Diaw’s new nickname: Tea Time.

LaMarcus Aldridge christened the 33-year-old Frenchman as such, paying homage to Diaw’s meandering, no-sweat, laissez-faire forays to the basket.

Diaw didn’t disavow the nickname exactly.

“It’s OK,” Diaw said. “I’m more of a coffee guy.”

Fast forward to Saturday, when Spurs players arrived at the AT&T Center before a game against Utah to find Diaw had done arguably the most Diaw thing ever.

He had installed a working espresso machine in his locker, completing the set with three tiny cups with saucers. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Since no still photography is allowed in the locker room, you’ll have to take our word for it).

Asked if Diaw’s new addition to his locker set-up represents the peak example of Boris being Boris, teammate Manu Ginobili laughed.

“With Boris, it is hard to tell,” Ginobili said. “There are so many.”

Shared love of wine—most likely a good bordeaux—with head coach Gregg Popovich? Check.

Published children’s book that somehow intertwines basketball and hippos? Check.

Immensely versatile skill set that, at times, allows him to play and defend all five positions on the floor? Check.

Bad-ass nicknames that include, but are not limited to, Bobo, The Big Croissant, Tea Time, Boodini, Dora The Explorer and, thanks to McDonald, The Borista? Check.

Working cappuccino machine at the ready in his locker? Check.

So, yeah, I stand by this: Boris Diaw is winning life.

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